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Children need fathers. No matter how old the child is or how bad the relationship has been in the past. If you, as a father, have relinquished the reins of guidance because of absence you need to step back into the picture. Many men are uncomfortable mentoring, guiding, teaching and yes, loving their own children. they assume that the step-dad, teacher or coach will step in to teach their sons the ways of male-dom.
The family is the foundation of life. It is the basic organization and where family members learn what is expected of them in life and their part in the scheme of things.
I think the reason my Grandma, an early Idaho pioneer homesteader, wore the long cotton apron with big pockets and ties around the neck and waist was to protect one of the two dresses she owned.
Internal work on our believe systems, thought patterns and behaviors is the hardest work any of us will ever do. It takes a great deal of courage and desire to change to undergo the strenuous work of digging through the layers of hidden feelings, experiences and hurts.
People who have lost a loved one, either a human or animal, search for ways to remember and at least keep a memory alive. Sharing stories helps us remember those good days and the joy that loved one brought to us. We may no longer to enjoy their fun and love in this existence, but the memory can remind us of the emotions and experiences we had together.
Your intention is to motivate a child or employee to do better. You are clear in your mind what you want to achieve and the behavior that you want changed. You expect to be listened to and obeyed! You are right and they are wrong. Someday, they will be grateful that you cared enough to show them what they were doing incorrectly.
Are you acquainted with spoiled, airhead, belligerent, obnoxious and rude children? Even worse, are you related to them? Are you so stressed out with trying to gain cooperation, that there is little time for fun or expressions of love? Is your interaction more of a battleground than peaceful co-existence?
What do you do when you realize that you have made a mistake? Is there a way to make it right with the person who has been hurt? Is an apology enough? How can we be sure that we won't make the same mistake again?
Do you panic when you know you have to go to a party? Does giving a speech or presentation leaves you breathless and worried? Do you assume people will not like you or even worse, completely ignore your presence?
As a parent educator and family relationship coach, I work with families just like yours and mine all over the world. When I asked participants in my parenting classes what they do when they are angry or stressed, they say that they yell, swear, throw a shoe or other object or threaten their kids with a punishment.