Part 1 of NLP’s Guide to Good Relationships

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Part 1 of NLP's guide to good relationships gives about 15 major tips that might affect relationships in today's society. NLP stands for Neural Linguistic Programming and is a growing field in Psychology.  Part 1 of NLP's guide to good relationships is a good general guide to looking at a relationship. This does not mean that everything in these 15 major tips will apply to your relationship. Part 1 of NLP's guide to good relationships is 15 major areas a NLP practitioner would look at. This guide is what to look for and is not the definitive guide or view of every single NLP practitioner in the world.

The first tip in Part 1 of NLP's guide to a good relationship is memory organization. Memory organization asks what was great about him or her at the beginning of the relationship. What attracted you to them? What did you feel when you first met him or her? Overall it asks that you look back on your relationship and see what was the first major reason or reasons you were attracted to this person.

The second tip in Part 1 of NLP's guide to a good relationship is: Who is responsible for your happiness? You are responsible for your own happiness in your life. Your happiness is not your partner's responsibility. This idea that others are responsible for your happiness is the greatest misconception in relationships today.

This does not mean that if your partner is abusing you or tormenting you on purpose that it is your fault for not being happy. It just means that your happiness should not be relying on your partner 100%.

The third tip in Part 1 of NLP's guide to good relationships is 100% or nothing. This goes after the idea that relationships said in today's society to be 50/50 from each partner. This helps give the misconception that one only needs to give half the effort in the relationship. Really both partners have to give 100% to the relationship for it to work.

In studies done by Virginia Satire the happiest couples both partners gave 100% and expected nothing in return. This does not mean if one gives 100% and one gives nothing or 50% that it is a good relationship. Both partners need to give it their all to have a prosperous and loving relationship.

The forth tip in Part 1 of NLP's guide to a good relationship is identity confusion. Identity confusion would be talk in relationships like us and we when referring to the couple. Here is an example: "We don't feel like going to the movies tonight Susie." When a couple always refers to themselves as we or us identity confusion may set in.

This would be loss of an individual's identity to the relationship. This might be why some partners "freak out" at the idea of commitment. This may also cause problems if at the beginning of the relationship that you expected your partner to change. The idea of losing one's identity is a large reason humans do not like to make a change or commit to an idea or relationship.

The fifth tip in Part 1 of NLP's guide to a good relationship is, "Give up being right about everything". Countries go to war because of "being right about everything all the time". A partner might have had a bad day, or any number of reasons they came home grumpy. It might not be a good moment to be right all of the time when they need to cool down their temper about something.

This does not mean that you have to be wrong 100% of the time. It also does not mean that one has to give in to their partner's view if it is conflict with one's value system. Stick to what you feel is right when it comes to basic values.

This is only part 1 of NLP's guide to a good relationship. There are 2 other parts (Part 2 and Part 3) to encompass the full 15 tips. Also this is not a definitive guide on relationships just tips to help relationships.

If you are experience problems in your relationship in some of these areas it would be recommended to go to a religious advisor, relationship counselor, NLP practitioner, family member, or have a trusted friend to talk with on the subject.

(These tips were passed on by NLP practitioners)

While passionate about psychology. With TRCB, he is one of the original Subject Matter Experts (SME), Author of upcoming book Naturally Good Cooking. For more please visit www.MichaelGoshen.com

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