Positive Action Follows Positive Thought

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Recently in the news, because of the award-winning movie and book called The Secret, this universal law has come into the forefront. Just as the law of gravity has existed forever, it only became known and understood after Isaac Newton studied and wrote about it. Universal laws exist and influence our lives whether we recognize and acknowledge them or not.

The underlying premise in the Law of Attraction is that all matter and energy are drawn to similar vibrations. Like is drawn to like. If you enjoy classical music, you are drawn to others who have similar interests. It doesn't mean that you don't occasionally listen to country western tunes, but you are more at ease, comfortable, and attracted to concerts rather than hoedowns.

Notice that people who think and talk about building strong families and communities are doing it. They are drawn to people, books, and classes about their favorite subjects.

A few years ago I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease. The more I thought about the possible negative outcomes, the worse I felt. While it was important to do due diligence and research my options, I realized my focus was on what could go wrong and I turned up many negative outcomes and forums from fellow sufferers. Once I shifted my intention to see what could go right, and began honoring the message from my body, I was drawn to more positive people and actions.

We are each a living magnet that attracts people into our life who harmonize with our dominant thoughts and emotions. If you are not happy with the people surrounding you, ask yourself if it is your thoughts and negative expectations that cause them to interact that way with you.

You are both the problem and the solution to everything in your life. When your thoughts, words and actions are aligned with what you really want, you are filled with joy and ecstasy.

You will get what you think and talk about. So, why not deliberately choose to concentrate on what you do want instead of what you don't want?

Possible Subconscious Beliefs Concerning Your Confidence
By not being authentic and true to our own inner guidance system, we prevent ourselves from reaching our full potential. Here are a few possible beliefs that we may be holding on to that are standing in the way of our success.
1. I don't feel worthy to be successful.
2. As a child, my parents and other adults told me that I couldn't do it. I still believe them.
3. It's a scary world out there and I need to be careful.
4. Who do I think I am some big shot?
5. I have tried before and failed. What if I fail again?
6. It is safer to stay in a job I hate. At least I get benefits and a paycheck.
7. I'm too: old, fat, dumb, uneducated, scared, etc.
8. Somebody will challenge me and I will be exposed as a fraud.

In order to overcome self-defeating patterns, we have to practice self-affirming patterns and thoughts.

Positive Affirmations and Replacement Statements
1. I am worthy and lovable.
2. I have succeeded at many things in life.
3. There are more good people than bad people. Most people want to help.
4. I am a problem-solver and an asset to organizations.
5. Next time I will approach the situation differently.
6. I am capable and intelligent.
7. I am worthwhile and valuable.

Explanations Not Excuses
Everyone has some adversity in life that affects their performance from time to time. Words, phrases, tone of voice, and body language can give a message of explanation and create respectful understanding.

Whining, complaining or blaming in an effort to get sympathy often backfires and creates distance in relationships.

Here is an example:
Explanation: My energy fluctuates in response to an autoimmune condition. I seem to be better in the morning. Can we schedule it for the a.m.?

Excuse: You had better not count on me. I have this rare disease, etc. etc. etc. My medical bills are so high and I have lots of appointments. Sometimes I can't find rides, etc. etc. etc.

A confident person explains what they can do, not what they can't do. The words we use to convince ourselves are almost as important as believing in the first place. I can is a strong statement, but I choose is even stronger. The best words to instill confidence are I am. By simply asserting our belief in this way we are establishing our belief that what we want is not only possible, it is certain.

The Truth As We Believe It
One basic premise of life is that human beings think and act not in accordance with the real truth, but with the truth as they believe it to be. Your self-image will cause you to behave exactly as you believe you are worthy and capable of, whether it is serving you well or not.

Another basic premise is if we change the way we think, we change the way we act. You can become aware that you are reacting emotionally to a situation and having negative thoughts. When some innocent person triggers those negative reactions say "STOP" emphatically three times. It sometimes helps to envision a stop sign. Saying a phrase or affirmation out loud three times, and with emotion, sends a signal to our subconscious and others that you mean business.

The third, and most important, premise is that the Law of Attraction will help us make our dreams and intentions come true whether they are negative or positive.

It is really not something outside yourself that prevents you from using your full potential. Often it is a belief that you hold in your brain. The big question that I have to ask you to consider is:

What if you have engineered your career, future, actions, and relationships on erroneous beliefs and incorrect information?

You are hindered not only by what you think, but what those around you think. If they believe that you don't have what it takes to succeed, then they give you that message through either verbal or non-verbal communication. You interpret the message in your brain as a fact simply because someone else told you so.

There is a power in three.
Tell yourself something three times and your brain will believe it!

Every Time versus Some Times
Those who come from a negative viewpoint tend to think that their irrational statements are absolutely undeniable and totally true.
• "I always get in the wrong line."
• "I never get a break in life."
• "Everyone else can find a partner, why can't I?"
• "I screw up every single time I try, so I'll give up."

People who have a higher vibration level of confidence recognize the ebbs and flows in the river of life.

• "Sometimes we find rocks, but sometimes it is a gold nugget."
• "Occasionally I mess up, but I generally do a good job."
• "Now and then the line at the grocery store is extra long, but that gives me a chance to relax and look at a magazine."

Life is not black and white, right or wrong.
Be conscious of your language and thoughts. Are you limiting experiences by assuming a negative outcome? Be open to possibilities.

High Performers Choose What They Believe
Those who truly want to achieve all they can dream make a choice not to listen to those who want to rain on their parade. They build blind spots to the naysayer, criticism, fear, and you-can't prophecies. They choose challenges and adventures that stretch them out of their comfort zone and they do it with confidence.

Remember, your belief system is incredibly strong and powerful. If you change the way you think, you will change the way you act.

Facts and Beliefs
In order to study how our minds affect our behavior, we must start from a level playing field and mutual understanding of terms.

A fact is something that can be proved; it is known to be true and is accepted by almost everyone. For instance: Math is taught in schools. The sky is blue. The milk was spilled. No one is going to argue about facts. They just are.

A belief is an idea felt to be true by some people but not everyone. It may be true one time but not another. It is like an opinion or a part of a conversation where you start off with "I think..." Beliefs are what people think about facts. "I think I am good at math because I always get good grades in math subjects."

Rational beliefs make sense and most people would not argue about them. They may not be true for everybody all the time; they are true sometimes for some people. For instance: "I think algebra is the hardest part of math."

Irrational beliefs don't make sense and are not true. People who have irrational beliefs are usually angry a lot, pessimistic and have low self-esteem. For instance: "No one should have to take algebra in school. It is a waste of time and the teachers are trying to ram it down the throats of kids so they can get a pay raise."

Most of us do not even realize the number of irrational beliefs that run through our mind every day. Some of those destructive, irrational thoughts are: "I must be good at everything or people won't like me." "My boss is out to get me." "If only......." "It's your fault I feel this way, you make me upset." "I can't help feeling this way because......" "No one will ever love me because I was abused as a child."

A lot of self-talk is based on beliefs that we think are facts. We maintain that something is true just because we have said it so many times. A mind takes everything you say literally, and then causes you to act automatically like your belief. Your subconscious is more concerned with proving that you aren't crazy for believing what you do than discovering the real truth.

Our self-talk and irrational beliefs cause us to move toward what we think about the most. It's hard to be depressed if you don't think depressing thoughts and repeat them over and over all day. If your subconscious believes something it will work hard to make it happen.

Try saying depressing and negative words while you do the smiling exercise. Can't do it, can you? Your face and body language expresses what is in your mind.

One can no more be mean and happy at the same time than an orange can be both sour and sweet.

Your Core Beliefs
How did you develop a belief system about what you could accomplish in life?
State a belief you hold:____________________________

Ok, here is an experiment to demonstrate how to peel the layers from a belief to find the core of that belief. Ask yourself why, what is the cause of that? Peel the artichoke.
Example: I always clean my plate.

Why: Because I think it is wasteful to throw food away.
Why: Because we work hard for our money and want to be frugal.
Why: Well, because we want to make sure we have enough to last our lifetime.
Why: Well, because we have friends who are spending money now and not preparing for the future. They just go out to eat and have fun.

Why: Because maybe they aren't aware that you could lose everything in a minute.
Why, what is the cause of this thought? Well, my parents lost their business in the depression and they really pounded into us kids that we had to be prepared for a disaster. Besides, there are starving children in Africa!

Ah-ha. So that is the core belief! Let's examine it. Are we having a depression or recession right now? Do you have money in the bank? Are you generally careful with spending? Do you have options should something catastrophic happen? Go to work at McDonalds, call friends, and apply for welfare. Lots of options.

Even if you don't have options, in the worst case scenario, would the food you eat today last very long? Even if you eat everything on your plate will there still be starving children in Africa? Could you give money to organizations that help starving children and still be okay? Yes!

Answer this question: Even if you eat every single thing on your plate and pick up the plate and lick it clean, are you still going to be hungry again in about four hours? The food you eat from that plate will not keep you from getting hungry. It is a fact that you will get hungry again.

Think about Thanksgiving and how stuffed and uncomfortable you are. You taste the stuffing and vegetables and turkey and ham, etc. How about the potatoes and gravy? Good huh? But did you know that you can have mashed potatoes and gravy every single day for the rest of the year? You can cook another turkey, another ham, and more pies. There is plenty of more food out there.

Even when you overeat, you still get hungry again. So, even if you personally ate everything on the table, let alone your plate, you would still get hungry again. Your body would require fuel in four hours.

So, you don't need to clean your plate, not now or ever again. Then this is not a belief that you need to hold and honor. It is simply not true for you, if it ever was. You may have incorporated a belief or attitude that was misinformation or even misinterpreted by your youthful mind. It no longer serves you, so are you ready to let it go?

Why, What is the Cause of That?
Belief: ________________________

Why, what is the cause of that? ________________________

Why, what is the cause of that? ________________________

Why, what is the cause of that? ________________________

Why, what is the cause of that? ________________________

What is the Core Belief: ________________________

Is this based on information that's relevant for me today?  ________________________

Next:  Communication is More Than Just Words

Previous: Self-Confidence is a Learned Skill

Judy H. Wright is a parent educator, family coach, and personal historian who has written more than 20 books, hundreds of articles and speaks internationally on family issues, including end of life. You are invited to visit our blog at www.AskAuntieArtichoke.com for answers and suggestions which will enhance your relationships. You will also find a full listing of free tele-classes and radio shows held each Thursday just for you at www.ArtichokePress.com.

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