Maximize the Benefit of Building Self-Confidence with Encouraging Words

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Grab a cup of tea and enjoy the next few minutes sharing ideas and tips that will bring an abundance of meaningful experiences and relationships into your life.

Many of the suggestions and exercises are written for parents to use in building stronger relationships with their child. They have been tested in years of parent education.

Why did I deliberately choose to leave them in that format when the reader may not have children and wants this information for personal growth?

Parents and caring adults will make sacrifices of time, treasure, and talent to insure happiness and well being for children, but will not do the same for themselves! They will persevere in a course of action if they can see that the end result will be a stronger, more confident child. Sometimes they forget that the most effective teaching method is to model behavior. Do it for them and their future.

If you have no children, will you take your inner child by the hand and do these exercises and read the guidelines as you wish the adults in your early life had done? Reparent that child. Call that inner child by your name or nickname. Be lovingly detached as you treat him or her as you wish you had been treated. Listen to your intuition (what you are being taught from inside) to gain insight (seeing from within). Reframe what you learned and get a fresh perspective. Do it for you and your future.

You may want to have your journal or blank book nearby as you answer the questions. You can also copy and paste this into a Word document that will allow you to write on the manuscript. You may also want a hand mirror handy for a couple of the exercises.

It is your message. I am only the Messenger. Use it as you wish.
Words can be deadly weapons or protective layers of love. They can bruise and batter a person, no matter how old, in the heart and spirit, just like physical blows can cause damage to the physical body.

Because these bruises to the spirit are not readily apparent, many think that the damage is easily repaired. However, while a verbal assault may be long forgotten by the offender, the words and memory often stay with the victim. The emotional damage is carried in the heart and confidence of a child forever.

The opposite is also true. Compliments, encouragement and praise can shape lives and futures for the better. A kind word and a pat on the back works wonders and fills the emotional bank account with confidence and a desire to keep trying.

It only takes one person to believe in you for you to make it. Success is a joint effort.
Choose to see possibilities and people in a new way

I have included in green ink little teaching gems, or what my kids call "Mumilies" as a takeoff on the word Homily, a sermon or writing with a moral lesson. They accuse me of finding teaching moments in everyday occurrences. It's true. All life is a lesson.

Please join me in a global mission to bring kindness, respect, and confidence to each person. One thought, one encouraging word, and the world can be a better place.

Be comfortable and open to these suggestions and know that I want only the best for you and yours. Don't get hung up on labels such as child, parent, teacher, him, or her.

Personalize the message and know in your heart that I am writing to you. You are a good and loving person who wants to find solutions to daily irritants and problems.

Yes, You Are a Teacher
The real teacher in life is not experience or wisdom from books. It is little messages, nudges of the spirit, and ideas that you will glean from millions of places every day. It is the radio signals of thought you get from everyone you associate with on a daily basis.

You are like the miner who pans for gold dust in the river of life. There will be lots of pebbles, rocks, and debris on the way to finding real gold. Sometimes it will feel like you are facing an avalanche of information, both verbal and non-verbal triggers that cause emotions and past experiences to roar into your mind and influence your choices and reactions.

You alone are going to decide what is true, what applies to you, and what is valuable and will enrich your life and the lives of others you interact with.

Over our kitchen door is stenciled the saying:

When the student is ready, a teacher appears.
In your life, you will sometimes be the student and sometimes be the teacher. Or both at the same time!

Not only are you teaching other people, but you are teaching your subconscious mind to look at old perceptions in a new way. You may find that the valuable gold nugget and treasure you thought worthy of keeping is, in reality, just an old piece of stone. As you learn new ways of positive behavior, you may need to reframe existing patterns that have not served you well in the past.

Others will be drawn to you who need what you are learning. Many parents have never been parented and so are looking for others to model. Please be willing to share with other adults and caregivers what has worked for you and your plans and intentions to find a better way in those areas that were not so successful.

Every one of us is teaching the next generation, whether we want to or not. Those of us who care deeply about the children in our circle of influence need to teach them the values, ethics, and standards that will help them to live successful and happy lives. Sometimes just a smile and kind greeting to the teenager on the street can change his view of himself. Being recognized and acknowledged as a fellow human being can add value and build the inner core of esteem.

Next: Self-Confidence is a Learned Skill

Judy H. Wright is a parent educator, family coach, and personal historian who has written more than 20 books, hundreds of articles and speaks internationally on family issues, including end of life. You are invited to visit our blog at for answers and suggestions which will enhance your relationships. You will also find a full listing of free tele-classes and radio shows held each Thursday just for you at

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