Social Anxiety - Afraid to Meet New People and Make Friends?

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Do you panic when you know you have to go to a party? Does giving a speech or presentation leaves you breathless and worried? Do you assume people will not like you or even worse, completely ignore your presence?

If you feel you are shy and introverted, do you want some tips on becoming more confident? If so, keep reading because this was written for anyone who has ever felt ill at ease on entering a room full of strangers.

Stress is Helpful in Some Instances:

Feeling some stress or anxiety is natural in situations where you do not know what to expect. It is a good warning system that tells us to be alert for danger. But, the real danger comes from within when we allow our thoughts to become larger than real life.

Are you denying yourself the pleasure of meeting new people, because of your fears and imagined unhappy encounters? If social anxiety is making you sick and isolated, then it is time to change the behavior.

Shyness is a Behavior not a Feeling:

Many shy and lonely people assume that they are the way they are because that is the way they were born. They assume that some people have self confidence and an air of positive well being and they just missed having that part in their personality.

Uncomfortable social situations must thus be avoided at all costs, reinforcing the erroneous belief system about learning new skills.

Shyness is not a feeling. It is a behavior and behaviors can be changed. Behaviors are like skills and skills can be learned. Playing the piano is a skill. Some people will always have an easier time learning, but they still need to know the fundamentals and practice in order to become proficient. Confidence is a skill. Non verbal body language is a skill. Assertive behavior which recognizes the boundaries of others is a skill.

Confidence is a Life Skill:

Even if you tend to see the negative or look at life with pessimistic eyes, it is possible to change your viewpoint. Becoming an encouraging person with an attitude of gratitude is a skill and takes work and practice.

It takes a process similar to improving any other skill you have conquered in your life. Think back on when you learned to ride a bike, play an instrument or speak a foreign language. Think about how you or a child you know learned to play the piano.

In Order to Learn any Skill You Must Have a Deep Desire to:

Be aware and clear in your mind of the advantages in learning something new and incorporating it into your life.
Ask to be mentored or taught by someone you trust.
Learn the basics and don't expect perfection right away.
Expect some setbacks and don't become discouraged.
Set up a plan of action with small steps in order to reach the ultimate goal.
Focus on effort and use self encouragement.
Move forward and do something every day to keep moving forward.
Enjoy the skill as it becomes automatic action and enhances your life.
Everyone Would like to be a Pianist, but Not Very Many People like to Practice

If you would like assistance in overcoming social anxiety and shyness, you are invited to go to for a new book that will help you reach your goals. The name of the book is "Building Self Confidence with Encouraging Words" It is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and your local book store.

Judy H. Wright is a parent educator, family coach, and personal historian who has written more than 20 books, hundreds of articles and speaks internationally on family issues, including end of life. You are invited to visit our blog at for answers and suggestions which will enhance your relationships. You will also find a full listing of free tele-classes and radio shows held each Thursday just for you at

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