Goshen’s Rum and Elephant Stew

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This is a classic dish that will feed your entire family and city for months. Goshen’s rum and elephant stew is a wonderful holiday dish that will give you the warmth of the season. Depending on the weather Goshen’s rum and elephant stew may taste better with different rums. If you’re going more towards Christmas themed spiced rum would be recommended. Goshen’s Rum and Elephant Stew gives a special taste to the holiday season.  

Serves 31416

Ingredients:

· 1 medium size elephant

· 2 ½  barrels about 138 gallons of rum or about 536 liters of rum (you may want an extra barrel to keep the elephant docile during preparation)

· Brown gravy to cover

· 220 pounds or 100 kilos of portabella  mushrooms chopped and sautéed in garlic and butter(depending on your guest type psychedelic mushrooms may be preferable)

· Salt and pepper to taste

· Garnish with 30 steamed bamboo trees

· (Optional) 45 rabbits to increase serving size

Directions:

Step 1: The first step in Goshen’s rum and elephant stew is to catch the elephant. Now the best tactic to catch a normal elephant is to use wonder woman’s yellow lasso of truth and put bells on your feet. The bells will attract the elephant. When the elephant comes because of the jingling of bells on your feet use your lasso of truth on the elephant, and bring him home to cook.  You can narrow the directions you don’t want the elephant to go by setting mice in the pathways.

Step 2: After catching the elephant, cut it into to bite size pieces allow yourself 2 months to do this or stuff the elephant with the 45 rabbits before cooking. Remember in Goshen’s rum and elephant stew to stuff it with the hole in the front; if you try stuffing it from the back end you may encounter unexpected results. Elephants have been known to get agitated when they think they are about to be cooked here are some safety tips for Goshen’s rum and elephant stew:

Tip 1: Get yourself a vest and tie mice by the tails to the vest with emergency release devices for rapid deployment of personnel mouse safety zone. As we all know elephants are afraid of mice.

Tip 2: Leave out hunks of cheese around the parameter for your mice so the elephant does not go storming out of the cooking area.

Tip 3: Give the elephant one barrel of rum to help keep him docile.

Tip 4: When cooking the elephant insert thermometer rectally for best results.

Step 3: Cover the elephant in brown gravy, rum and the 220 pounds or 100 kilos of portabella mushrooms. Heat up a kerosene fire to about 450 degrees or about 230 Celsius and cook. If more servings are needed, the rabbits may be added. Do this only if necessary, because most people do not like hare in their stew. Then you are ready to enjoy Goshen’s rum and elephant stew

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